I haven’t stepped on a scale in years.”
…were the words of the fitness guru I had started following on Instagram. “I just pay attention to my body and that’s how I track my progress.”
As you can imagine, for a newbie, this was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. If I had a good relationship with my body, I would own pants that fit, lady.
That was almost two years ago, when I’d just popped out my second tiny human and decided to go on a weight-losing spree. I had always heard that the way to lose weight was to work out daily and eat healthy foods (hmmm consistency and nutrition lead to weight loss, what a novel idea) but like most people, I just squeezed workouts in when I could, and still regularly ate tacos and pizza. After I had my daughter, though, I was DONE being fat, so I committed to be uber consistent, and as we say in my house “se me fue la mano.” Please don’t shoot me for saying this, but I accidentally lost too much weight. I went from a size 6 to a 0 and had to buy all new clothes, because everything I owned hung off of me. This didn’t happen over night; it took me about 10 months. But it was 10 months of no excuses, no-days-off commitment.
I say all of this in celebration, but also in regret. Again, hold your fire, but I did not intend to lose that much weight. 10 months into my new lifestyle, I was tiny ,and for the first time in my life, I felt it. Even in high school, when I was thin, I didn’t feel it or appreciate it because my giant chest and flat behind made me feel off balance (my body and I have been at war as far back as I can remember).
While many women want to be thin, I always wanted to be curvy, and I accomplished that unintentionally by having kids. When I lost the weight, I also lost all of my curves. I was slim and strong, but I didn’t feel sexy, because in my world, CURVY is sexy. So I decided to tone things down a bit on the nutrition, allowing more carbs and proteins, bigger portions, and gave myself permission to take a REAL (not active) rest day each week. Now, I’m a happy, slightly curvy size 2, and although there are days when I feel pudgy (i.e. New Years Eve in my red dress…after indulging in every kind of pastelito and cake my mom and abuela could make) I fill out my jeans and my dresses and that makes me feel sexy.
When it comes to body image, people focus so much on numbers and aesthetics, when it’s not about either of those things. It’s about YOU, your relationship with your body and how you feel in it. What size are you most comfortable with? What makes you feel most strong? THAT is the goal to strive for on your journey.